My Grandmother is dying...

As the day gets closer, I'm starting to reflect more on my Grandma's life. She now hasn't had anything to eat or drink since March 28th. She's in her 91st year but the last 5 or so haven't been the greatest and I would like her to have peace.

My aunts had asked if any of us had any memories or stories of Grandma. At first I didn't think I would offer any but the more I thought about it, I felt a desire to at least write something, even if it wasn't shared at the service. I have chosen not to visit her in her last days as I selfishly want to remember her as the Grandma I know, not as the stranger sleeping in her bed. I haven't been to visit her in over 3 years... Last time I went Quin was probably 1 1/2. I think she enjoyed seeing the kids but I'm not convinced she knew who we all were (or maybe she just couldn't communicate that...).

Anyway, here are my rambling thoughts:

I have a great admiration for Grandma. She had many qualities which I would like... She was a fantastic cook. I have fond memories of her hand whipping potatoes (she never had any lumps... Dad still cannot master that!) and the crazy way she sharpened her knives! She was so fast it was a miracle she still has all her fingers! I have begun to appreciate parsley which Grandma liberally used in her soup or on her potatoes. I also remember her lovely honey pot which we used to pour the sweetest honey on our cereal...

She had such a green thumb... Her violets were amazing and her garden was always so neat and weed free. I have an amazing talent of killing all my houseplants and my garden is no where near a large as Grandma's was and yet I still manage to grow a fair size crop of weeds.

I don't remember hearing her raise her voice and yet everything and everyone around her was in control. I have a hard enough time with my 3 kids, I can't imagine 11! And yet all her kids model their parents morality and strong work ethic, and show love, compassion and willingness to help others in a understated but noticeable way. I can only hope that my kids will turn out as well.

I also admire Grandma's faith. Where I still feel like I haven't quite managed to figure out my path, I look at Grandma who had such a strong, unwavering conviction.

I choose to remember my Grandmother this way: the sparkle in her eyes, her infectious laughter, her wisdom and her love for life. I see these things when I look at my Dad, and my aunts and uncles. Thank you Grandma for showing me how powerful love, acceptance and forgiveness can be.